The Disgust of Sin

My mom's boss, whom I've known my whole life, died this morning after battling severe cancer for close to a year. I have so many thoughts concerning this man's life, most of them bring me sadness and a bit of righteous anger. He was not a follower of Christ, therefore I know where his soul resides this very hour, and this thought is, I think, the saddest of the lot. I know God's justice and I would not presume to feel in any way as if God is in the wrong in this matter, He is the Sovereign of the universe and does what He pleases and I accept His will for this man, though it breaks my heart. Second, the cancer that he battled was some of the worst of which I've personally heard. He didn't find out about the cancer until it had already spread to his bones, which bode fatal from the beginning. He went through all the routine cancer treatments, chemotherapy, radiation, etc. with no improvement, but an actual worsening as some of the treatments were too strong for him to take. The tumors did not enlarge, but he lost 50 lbs and was sick and in the hospital regularly. Finally the inevitable happened and he contracted pneumonia last week. At first, the doctors tried to treat it with antibiotics, but with no success. That's when the doctors told his family that he had, at most, a week to live. The cancer was now 'everywhere' and he was beginning to lapse in and out of consciousness. The family moved him to a hospice and he died today, 4 days later. Third and last, I think of the death he died. When mom called me today to tell me that he had died, we talked a bit about his last few days. They sounded so horrible: lungs slowly filling with fluid, him having a harder and harder time breathing, gasping for breath, longer periods of unconsciousness, him telling his family he was dying (what would it feel like to know this inherently), not being able to recognize people as much, etc. All of these things make me think that he truly did feel the sting of death. Sure we may all die a death such as this man and I do not presume to know what death will be like, but this man was still in his sins, he had no hope and was 'without God in the world.' There was no trust for Christ in his heart and I think there must be quite a sting in a death like that.

So why do I call this post 'the disgust of sin'? Well, all these thoughts, along with a host of personal sins that I have been dealing with as of late, make me hate sin all the more. Originally, it was, in God's providence, because of the fall of Adam that these things of death, sin, pain, and disease came into the world and still survive today. Knowing a life like the life of this man I've just told you about makes me grieve that he was not a believer when he died, but it also causes anger in me toward sin and death. I only pray that my hatred for sin in this situation would fuel more hatred for my own sin and cause me to treasure Christ more than my sin. O God, I pray you would be glorified through this man's death and many people would be brought to repentance and faith in Christ through it, for your glory. Amen.

Matthew 25

In light of reading Stop Dating the Church I have resolved, by God's grace, to be much more attentive during the sermons and try to apply what I am learning throughout the week. Last night, Don preached from Matthew 25:31ff. Basically, Jesus is teaching here what the final judgment will be like with a separation of sheep (believers) from goats (unbelievers). Jesus explains that what the sheep and goats did in life were very different and serves to reveal to which group each belongs. Don explained several things last night that were very instructive to me, but a few of them stand out in particular as especially memorable. First, Don explained that the sheep are doing these 'works' because they are sheep, they are not sheep because they are doing the 'works'. This may sound a little confusing, but it's very true. God sheds his mercy on undeserving sinners, makes them believers, and they begin to do good works as a result of the mercy they've been shown by Christ in salvation. That statement leads me right into the other comment I want to make about the sermon. I was struck and convicted last night, hearing Don talk about this mercy-evoking grace, at how often I have heard Don and my pastor, Ryan Fullerton, talk of 'mercy ministry' flowing out of the abundant mercy we've been shown in salvation, but how little of the time I am able to focus on this truth when serving. I pray I will be able to remember and apply these truths to my life and so glorify God in my service to Him.

Psalm 73

Pastor Don preached through Psalm 73 last night at church and it was eye-opening. I would encourage you to read this Psalm because it is very good, very God-centered. Several things struck me last night as Don was preaching. The summary of my thoughts had to do with wondering how living here long-term will affect (in a positive way, I think) my life when I do go back home to Louisville. As Pastor Don was speaking of the storm and talking about the unbelievable reality that everyone in this community lost everything, this fact seemed to hit me in a different way last night. I began to think of the difference in the way I live here compared to Louisville. I know that the conditions here are 100 times better now than they were even 1 year ago, not to mention right after the hurricane, and I do not mean to demean that truth in any way. For me, though, this way of life is much more 'rustic' in some ways than my life in Louisville and I began to imagine how it will be when I return there. How will my views of what's important and 'needed' in life have changed? Will I be able to hold on to my material possessions and ideas of what the right way to live is with a looser grip than I did when I first arrived here? I pray, by the Lord's grace, that I will.

This idea links perfectly into Psalm 73 because in this Psalm Asaph spends the first half of it saying how envious he was of the prosperity of the wicked. While this idea isn't specifically related to what I was saying, the conclusion that Asaph comes to in the last half of the Psalm is. After going on through all the seeming benefits that the wicked have in this life, the tone of the passage changes dramatically. This change all hinges on v.17. Asaph says that it wasn't until he 'went into the sanctuary of God' that he was able to discern their end. Pastor Don explained that 'sanctuary of God' in this passage means being in the presence of God, so Asaph could have been thinking of physically going to the temple, but it was more that merely being in that place. It could also be applied as being in the presence of God as under the teaching of His Word. The bottom line is that the Word of God is what we need to conform our minds to think rightly about issues in life. After this verse, Asaph begins to speak truth about the wicked, that they are despised by the Lord, not favored. The last several verses of the Psalm are spent recounting the truths of God concerning the righteous, specifically Asaph himself. He says that God is his only hope, the only thing he has to hold on to in heaven or on earth. Don was quick to point out that having and caring about houses and our things is not bad, but that when compared to the supreme value of Christ in our lives, those things become, as Paul said, rubbish. May this truth typify my life (and yours as well) and color our view of what it means to live 'a good life.' I pray it would be so for us, brothers and sisters, and that God would be glorified for it.