Catch up

It would be pretty silly for me to just say it's been a long time since I've posted because that is a gross understatement. Needless to say a lot has happened in my life since then. Funny, in some ways it feels like I haven't done much at all since my last post. Still, I will try to bring you up to speed.
I was visiting my family in Kansas last time I posted, and I ended up returning to Louisville about mid-January. For the next three months solid I worked 6 days a week on finishing up the online course I have been taking for medical transcriptioning. I am glad to report that just this past weekend I took the final and am awaiting the results! A friend asked me if I felt any different now that I'm finished and I think I was being a weirdo when I said no. I wasn't really having a good attitude because I should be thrilled to be done. This has been, honestly, one of the most intensive, self-disciplined 3 1/2 months of my life and it's truly a gift from the Lord that I was able to work on it so consistently and for so long and not get burnt out. So, looking back I am much more thankful for being (nearly) at the end of this long road. I prayed so much for the Lord to help me persevere with this and He really did and so for that I am thankful and praise Him for His kindness. I should know the scores in less than two weeks, and barring how well I did, I will hopefully have a job very soon. I am now praying that I will find the perfect job for me quickly and that it may have the flexibility I am looking for.
As far as Lakeshore goes, out church is taking several trips down there over the next several months and I am excited at the prospect of hopefully being able to go on most of them. I have entertained thoughts of going back for a number of months, but as of yet do not see that as a viable possibility, at least for this summer. I do miss it a lot, but am also enjoying life here.
The Fullerton family, the family I live with, is doing well. Christy, the wife, has recently finished her chemotherapy treatment and her body is now able to begin slowly recovering from the havoc wreaked on it for the past 6 months. The Lord has been gracious. This family is so dear to me; they have been an immense blessing in my life and have do so much for me.
Well, I think that's about it for now. Told you it wasn't too much.

an illustration of assurance

On this morning of Thanksgiving, I wanted to share an illustration I read the other night. It's found in the last chapter of J.C. Ryle's book Holiness, which I have been reading for some time. The book is quite excellent and I commend it to you for your sanctification. I particularly liked this illustration as very clear on one of the many blessings a believer can expect to gain from having an assurance of his salvation. May we all be stirred to fight for assurance and to thank God for our salvation this day, even if we are vexed with doubts at the present. The excerpt goes as follows:

Assurance is to be desired because it tends to make a Christian an active working Christian. None, generally speaking, do so much for Christ on earth as those who enjoy the fullest confidence of a free entrance into heaven and trust not in their own works, but in the finished work of Christ. That sounds wonderful, I dare say, but it is true.

A believer who lacks an assured hope will spend much of his time in inward searchings of heart about his own state. Like a nervous, hypochondriacal person, he will be full of his own ailments, his own doubtings and questionings, his own conflicts and corruptions. In short, you will often find he is so taken up with his internal warfare that he has little leisure for other things and little time to work for God.

But a believer who has, like Paul, an assured hope is free from these harassing distractions. He does not vex his soul with doubts about his own pardon and acceptance. He looks at the everlasting covenant sealed with blood, at the finished work and never–broken word of his Lord and Savior, and therefore counts his salvation a settled thing. And thus he is able to give an undivided attention to the work of the Lord and so in the long run to do more.

Take, for an illustration of this, two English emigrants, and suppose them set down side by side in New Zealand or Australia. Give each of them a piece of land to clear and cultivate. Let the portions allotted to them be the same, both in quantity and quality. Secure that land to them by every needful legal instrument; let it be conveyed as freehold to them and theirs forever; let the conveyance be publicly registered and the property made sure to them by every deed and security that man’s ingenuity can devise.

Suppose then that one of them shall set to work to clear his land and bring it into cultivation and labor at it day after day without intermission or cessation.

Suppose in the meanwhile that the other shall be continually leaving his work and going repeatedly to the public registry to ask whether the land really is his own, whether there is not some mistake, whether after all there is not some flaw in the legal instruments which conveyed it to him.

The one shall never doubt his title but just work diligently on. The other shall hardly ever feel sure of his title and spend half his time in going to Sydney or Melbourne or Auckland with needless inquiries about it.

Which now of these two men will have made most progress in a year’s time? Who will have done the most for his land, got the greatest breadth of soil under tillage, have the best crops to show, be altogether the most prosperous?

Anyone of common sense can answer that question. I need not supply an answer. There can be only one reply. Undivided attention will always attain the greatest success.

It is much the same in the matter of our title to "mansions in the skies." None will do so much for the Lord who bought him as the believer who sees his title clear and is not distracted by unbelieving doubts, questionings and hesitations. The joy of the Lord will be that man’s strength. "Restore unto me," says David, "the joy of Your salvation, then will I teach transgressors Your ways" (Ps. 51:12).

Never were there such working Christians as the apostles. They seemed to live to labor. Christ’s work was truly their meat and drink. They counted not their lives dear to themselves. They spent and were spent. They laid down ease, health, worldly comfort, at the foot of the cross. And one grand cause of this, I believe, was their assured hope. They were men who could say, "We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies in wickedness" (1 John 5:19).

I hope this illustration will encourage many of you and may make you desire to read this book for yourself. If you would like to read it you can go here. The first eight chapters were his original book. May the Lord be given much thanksgiving today!

Tomorrow's the big day

Well, tomorrow I'm leaving Lakeshore, MS and going back to my present home of Louisville, KY. It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling because I am experiencing a whole gamut of emotions: excitement, sadness, anticipation, nervousness, gratefulness, etc. My time here has been so life-changing and it is something I will never forget. I pray that God will help me to remember the things I've learned here when I go back to Louisville. I just wanted to write a quick note before I leave, but Lord willing I will write again soon and post some pictures of my tiling adventure!

1 week to go...

I really can't believe I will be leaving Lakeshore in 7 days. It has been such a memorable experience and I don't think I'll ever be able to express everything that's happened in my time here, partly because I can't remember it all! I am looking forward to moving back to Louisville though, but these past couple of weeks have been really neat because I have been able to work on a lot of projects at specific houses. Along with a host of other little things, I have learned how to lay laminate flooring, put up trim and baseboards, and will hopefully be tiling two bathroom floors before the week is out. Liz, another long-term volunteer, and I have been working together on these named projects with a team from Ohio who'll be here for 2 weeks total. I will write more about Ms. Gillum's (the house where we've been) later and show y'all some pictures.

the past few weeks

These past few weeks have been really good and hard at times. Last weekend, I went home for the first time in 4 months. It was really weird to be back in Louisville. At first it felt like I was going back to a former life I had had in the distant past, but by Sunday it was feeling like home again, just in time for me to come back to Lakeshore. The weekend was great overall: I got to see a beautiful, Christ-honoring wedding and spend some time with friends I hadn't seen in a long time. It was, however, hard to leave because I so desire to be there for the Fullertons. I live with them and Ryan is the preaching pastor at my church; Christy, his wife, has breast cancer and will be starting treatment soon. I know, though, that God is sovereign and knew the timing of all these things when I extended my time here. So, when I got on the plane to come back, I was glad that I had excitement to come back to Lakeshore.

Since I have been back, it has been very busy for me. There was a team here from Providence Baptist Church in Franklin, MA this past week and I was able to spend a lot of time with them. I met them in June when they came down and became good friends with two sisters, Mandy and Jessica. So, I was really looking forward to seeing them again, and this time I was able to meet their parents as well. I worked with them out on the job sites all week and we talked and played games together at night; it was a blast! I think I ate about a year's worth of desserts in that week, but I had such a great time with them all. Now I am at the last month of my time here in Mississippi and it's hard to believe. I pray that God will bear a lot of fruit from this last month, that I will be very diligent in my online coursework, and not be anxious to get back to Louisville, but take each day and serve God wholly where I am, all for His glory.

P.S. I hope to post some pictures of the last few weeks soon!

Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right

There has been a lot going on in the life of my church body, Immanuel, and, as a result, a lot in my heart these past few weeks and I don't really know how to express where I'm at except through the words of these humbling hymns:

Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right

1. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate’er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God,
Though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall
Wherefore to Him I leave it all

2. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me
I take, content,
What He hath sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day

3. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart

4. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care
Is round me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all

©1998 David Braud Music.

How Firm a Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

1787, John Rippon

I pray for the dear members of Immanuel, who are going through such hard trials this day, that they might be sustained by God's grace and given the faith to trust Him as an all-wise, all-loving Father who is the author of their trials. And these trials, which indeed come to us all, are sent for the purpose of our sanctification and, ultimately, so that God might be glorified more through our lives. Oh that God would strengthen my feeble heart to believe!

The Disgust of Sin

My mom's boss, whom I've known my whole life, died this morning after battling severe cancer for close to a year. I have so many thoughts concerning this man's life, most of them bring me sadness and a bit of righteous anger. He was not a follower of Christ, therefore I know where his soul resides this very hour, and this thought is, I think, the saddest of the lot. I know God's justice and I would not presume to feel in any way as if God is in the wrong in this matter, He is the Sovereign of the universe and does what He pleases and I accept His will for this man, though it breaks my heart. Second, the cancer that he battled was some of the worst of which I've personally heard. He didn't find out about the cancer until it had already spread to his bones, which bode fatal from the beginning. He went through all the routine cancer treatments, chemotherapy, radiation, etc. with no improvement, but an actual worsening as some of the treatments were too strong for him to take. The tumors did not enlarge, but he lost 50 lbs and was sick and in the hospital regularly. Finally the inevitable happened and he contracted pneumonia last week. At first, the doctors tried to treat it with antibiotics, but with no success. That's when the doctors told his family that he had, at most, a week to live. The cancer was now 'everywhere' and he was beginning to lapse in and out of consciousness. The family moved him to a hospice and he died today, 4 days later. Third and last, I think of the death he died. When mom called me today to tell me that he had died, we talked a bit about his last few days. They sounded so horrible: lungs slowly filling with fluid, him having a harder and harder time breathing, gasping for breath, longer periods of unconsciousness, him telling his family he was dying (what would it feel like to know this inherently), not being able to recognize people as much, etc. All of these things make me think that he truly did feel the sting of death. Sure we may all die a death such as this man and I do not presume to know what death will be like, but this man was still in his sins, he had no hope and was 'without God in the world.' There was no trust for Christ in his heart and I think there must be quite a sting in a death like that.

So why do I call this post 'the disgust of sin'? Well, all these thoughts, along with a host of personal sins that I have been dealing with as of late, make me hate sin all the more. Originally, it was, in God's providence, because of the fall of Adam that these things of death, sin, pain, and disease came into the world and still survive today. Knowing a life like the life of this man I've just told you about makes me grieve that he was not a believer when he died, but it also causes anger in me toward sin and death. I only pray that my hatred for sin in this situation would fuel more hatred for my own sin and cause me to treasure Christ more than my sin. O God, I pray you would be glorified through this man's death and many people would be brought to repentance and faith in Christ through it, for your glory. Amen.

long time no post...

Hey, avid blog readers (all 5 of you!), sorry I haven't posted in a while. I was coming into a bit of writer's block last week and then I got sick this week. But, I think I'm about to kick this virus so hopefully I will return to the blogging world soon. Hope all of you are well...

Matthew 25

In light of reading Stop Dating the Church I have resolved, by God's grace, to be much more attentive during the sermons and try to apply what I am learning throughout the week. Last night, Don preached from Matthew 25:31ff. Basically, Jesus is teaching here what the final judgment will be like with a separation of sheep (believers) from goats (unbelievers). Jesus explains that what the sheep and goats did in life were very different and serves to reveal to which group each belongs. Don explained several things last night that were very instructive to me, but a few of them stand out in particular as especially memorable. First, Don explained that the sheep are doing these 'works' because they are sheep, they are not sheep because they are doing the 'works'. This may sound a little confusing, but it's very true. God sheds his mercy on undeserving sinners, makes them believers, and they begin to do good works as a result of the mercy they've been shown by Christ in salvation. That statement leads me right into the other comment I want to make about the sermon. I was struck and convicted last night, hearing Don talk about this mercy-evoking grace, at how often I have heard Don and my pastor, Ryan Fullerton, talk of 'mercy ministry' flowing out of the abundant mercy we've been shown in salvation, but how little of the time I am able to focus on this truth when serving. I pray I will be able to remember and apply these truths to my life and so glorify God in my service to Him.

Faithfulness

Well, I haven't written in a while because I've been so busy around here. I wrote last time about being overwhelmed at the prospect of being here directing volunteers with everyone else gone. I am very thankful to say today that the Lord was very gracious to answer my anxious pleas for wisdom and mercy to do a good job this past week. It went so much better than I could have ever expected and I am so grateful and thankful to the Lord. Jamie came back last night and we had a fun time talking and eating dinner together. It's good to have her back, but I am glad what the Lord brought me through this past week. To Him be the glory, Amen.

Departing with friends...

Last Saturday two people from my home church in Louisville, Immanuel, came up to work for the week. Mike, Lisa, Doug, and I worked with an electrician and a builder from Massachusetts, Rob and Bob, on many different projects this week. I think the most fun I had this week was helping Rob wire a house from the start with my friends from back home. It was so good to see friends from Immanuel and hang out and work alongside them. Today, however, I had to say good-bye to them as they all head back to Kentucky. It is so interesting how even mere acquaintances can become such dear friends after being together down here for a few days, let alone a whole summer. I began to cry a bit as they were heading out and I'm not even really sure why. In part, it will be lonelier here with Lisa, Mike, and Doug gone. Also, the idea that they are heading back to Louisville appeals to me as well, as I miss my church family there greatly. Lastly I think, it is overwhelming for me to think about directing teams here with Jamie and Doug gone. Jamie left on Tuesday to visit some friends in Florida for a week, so she will be back, but between now and the time she gets back about 150 people will come and go and it will be the first time I'll be without her here to guide me in giving them jobs. So, with all those things combined, I find myself writing this note with a lingering sense of sadness. I am confident, though, that the Lord is sovereign and He is completely in control of this situation and is using it for my sanctification and that it will be good, even though I know it will be hard. Good does not always mean easy, and, I've found, in the true Christian life it often doesn't mean easy. I pray the Lord would increase my trust in Him as my portion, my hope, and that He would be glorified for it.

Psalm 73

Pastor Don preached through Psalm 73 last night at church and it was eye-opening. I would encourage you to read this Psalm because it is very good, very God-centered. Several things struck me last night as Don was preaching. The summary of my thoughts had to do with wondering how living here long-term will affect (in a positive way, I think) my life when I do go back home to Louisville. As Pastor Don was speaking of the storm and talking about the unbelievable reality that everyone in this community lost everything, this fact seemed to hit me in a different way last night. I began to think of the difference in the way I live here compared to Louisville. I know that the conditions here are 100 times better now than they were even 1 year ago, not to mention right after the hurricane, and I do not mean to demean that truth in any way. For me, though, this way of life is much more 'rustic' in some ways than my life in Louisville and I began to imagine how it will be when I return there. How will my views of what's important and 'needed' in life have changed? Will I be able to hold on to my material possessions and ideas of what the right way to live is with a looser grip than I did when I first arrived here? I pray, by the Lord's grace, that I will.

This idea links perfectly into Psalm 73 because in this Psalm Asaph spends the first half of it saying how envious he was of the prosperity of the wicked. While this idea isn't specifically related to what I was saying, the conclusion that Asaph comes to in the last half of the Psalm is. After going on through all the seeming benefits that the wicked have in this life, the tone of the passage changes dramatically. This change all hinges on v.17. Asaph says that it wasn't until he 'went into the sanctuary of God' that he was able to discern their end. Pastor Don explained that 'sanctuary of God' in this passage means being in the presence of God, so Asaph could have been thinking of physically going to the temple, but it was more that merely being in that place. It could also be applied as being in the presence of God as under the teaching of His Word. The bottom line is that the Word of God is what we need to conform our minds to think rightly about issues in life. After this verse, Asaph begins to speak truth about the wicked, that they are despised by the Lord, not favored. The last several verses of the Psalm are spent recounting the truths of God concerning the righteous, specifically Asaph himself. He says that God is his only hope, the only thing he has to hold on to in heaven or on earth. Don was quick to point out that having and caring about houses and our things is not bad, but that when compared to the supreme value of Christ in our lives, those things become, as Paul said, rubbish. May this truth typify my life (and yours as well) and color our view of what it means to live 'a good life.' I pray it would be so for us, brothers and sisters, and that God would be glorified for it.

Lakeshore Mississippi Part 2

I have been attempting to update my blog for well over a week now, but have yet to succeed until now. I decided to forgo putting more pictures up, as that seems to be the problem, so words will have to suffice for this update.

These past few weeks of my life here in Lakeshore have been busy to say the least. We have still had many volunteer teams coming in and out, working on several different houses and projects. I have done everything from getting teams out where they need to go to writing up a press release for the VBS we had here last week to using a miter saw to cut trim and then installing it in an elderly man's home we are trying to finish. I even got to pick out the counter top that will go in this man's kitchen, that was fun!

I have also had the privilege of working with several people who came for a longer period of time this summer, like me. Aside from Andrew and Doug, two guys from my church back in Louisville, I met and became friends with Joel Cupp, Jayme Deeb, and Liz Hawkins, and have continued to get to know Jamie Dunbar, the intern here. It was really fun to have these people around this summer, we played lots of card games, talked late many nights, and went out on the weekends together. Andrew left several weeks ago and is now off to basic training for the military and Joel, Jayme, and Liz all left last week, so the atmosphere around here has definitely changed. It has been somewhat lonely with everyone leaving, and I think we have all felt it, but, at the same time, it has brought some sense of normalcy back to life. Instead of having a party every night, we now have time read, go to bed early, etc. This past weekend, I think Doug, Jamie, and I watched a movie every day, partly from loneliness, but mostly because we were all so exhausted and worn out.

I mentioned that this past week has brought some normalcy back to me. It is normalcy because this will be my life for another 3 months. Pastor Don asked me a few weeks ago to consider staying here in Lakeshore through the fall. My initial reaction was one of dislike as I was already in the mindset of going home in a few weeks. I had, however, promised Don I would think about it, and so I did. I spoke with many of my close friends and mentors and tried to think it out logically as well. At the end of the day, the more I thought and prayed about it, the clearer it became that this is a good opportunity for me and will benefit the people of Lakeshore as well. I will be able to stay here for a minimal amount of money, work part time at the church helping in whatever ways I can, and work about 15-20 hours a week on my online medical transcription training. I know this will be a challenging and stretching time for me, as well as a good time. So, I am seeking, by God's grace, to stay focused on things above, not on earthly things, and to focus on how I can glorify God while I'm here and depend on the Lord's new mercies every morning. I feel the imminent temptation to be focused on what I'm missing in Louisville this fall with all my friends and church family there, but I really pray the Lord would allow me to consider others needs above my own wants and count it a joy to be here this fall. I don't know the exact date I will be coming home yet, but somewhere around the 1st of November. Please pray for me, brothers and sisters, that I would be used here to God's glory, and I pray the same for you all too.

I think that's all I have for now. May you know His mercies this day and depend on them wholly.

My new blog

Well, since I'm already on the Facebook bandwagon, I thought I could go ahead and start a blog too! I'm in the middle of my summer in Lakeshore, MS and thought it would be good to begin keeping a more detailed record of what's going on here! Also, it's my 22nd birthday today and so it seemed like a good day to start a blog.

Anyway, through the model of a great friend, Jamie Dunbar (www.jamiedunbar.blogspot.com), who has been here in Lakeshore for over a year, I have been seeking to be more diligent at reading consistently through one book at a time. This attempt has been so helpful in many ways. I not only remember the book a lot better because I am reading it more cohesively, but I am able to read more books because, let me tell you, when I am reading 4 books at once, I don't finish any of them! So, right now I am nearing the end of The Attributes of God by Arthur Pink. It is a very good book which systematically goes through several attributes of God such as His solitariness, sovereignty, holiness, power, love, mercy, and wrath. It has been so beneficial for my soul to be immersed with a biblical picture of God's character. I pray that the truth I am gaining from this book will infiltrate my mind and that God will use it to cause me to trust Him as He is my all-wise, sovereign, and loving Father who cares for me perfectly!

It has been a good day here in Lakeshore. My friends have been very kind to me today, making my birthday very special. First, I was able to sleep in until about 8:15, which was very nice. Then, when I got to the office, there was a card and a pack of Twizzlers waiting for me! Pastor Don, the pastor of Lakeshore Baptist Church, took us out to lunch. Then, at dinner, they sang me Happy Birthday and we had cupcakes with cute green frogs on them!

As I was talking to my mom earlier today we were reflecting on the past few years of my life. When I think back over the past few years of my life I am amazed at the grace of God that has been shown in my life. God has done such a work in my heart and life and grown me so much these past two years, it is almost hard for me to believe where I was a few years ago! Praise the Lord for His bounty! It is amazing to think that on this day last year I was in Bandar Lampung, Indonesia celebrating my 21st birthday with my good friend Katye Green and the missionaries there that we were serving alongside. I am so thankful to the Lord that He has allowed me to spend my last two birthdays serving Him in these ways!